Hello, my name is Michael.
I’m a human being.
You’ve heard of human beings before. Most everyone in this room is a human being.
Human beings are a soft and squishy lot and we like to surround ourselves with soft and squishy things, like trees and grass and puppies and flowers and chirping birds. We don’t like hard and scratchy things like asphalt and cement and hurtling bits of metal and plastic. When we bump into them, it hurts.
When you’re doing your planning and developing, remember just who it is you’re planning and developing for. Not for asphalt and cement and hurtling bits of metal and plastic. You’re planning and developing for human beings… soft and squishy human beings.
The next time a pot of money is dangled before you, a salary raise proffered, a promotion promised in exchange for some unneeded and unwanted project, remember this:
We don’t want your asphalt and plastic and hurtling bits of metal and plastic. We have too much of those already. We already live in a world coated with asphalt and cement, and overrun by hurtling bits of metal and plastic.
We want more soft and squishy things like trees and grass and puppies and flowers and chirping birds. Design a project with lots of those, please.
Remember what Gandhi told us: “There’s more to life than making it go faster.” Bits of metal and plastic hurtle too fast already. Don’t help them go faster; make them go slower. Or not at all.
If you must design and develop something, design and develop something soft and squishy for us. Better yet, find a job undesigning and undeveloping all the asphalt and cement and hurtling bits of metal and plastic.
The soft and squishy world will take over if given half a chance.